Well, this is weird: I turn up to class, but the students don’t. I check the timetable, in case I got it wrong, but no, this is where they should be. I go looking for them – the library, the gym, etc – but all the year elevens I find say they’ve got a spare. For all I know some of them were my students pretending not to be – I wouldn’t know, I haven’t even got a class list. I go back to class where it’s still empty. Suits me; makes for a nice easy class and I’m still getting paid for it. It is boring though sitting here in an empty classroom, so I write up a list.
Top 10 Captain Beefheart tunes
Moonlight On Vermont
Big-eyed Beans From Venus
Dirty Blue Gene
The Blimp
Neon Meat Dream of a Octafish
Abba Zaba
Tropical Hot Dog Night
Ashtray Heart
Sue Egypt
Old Fart At Play
Love the Captain. I’m planning on doing my own Beefheart-esque tunes soon, using lyrics taken from stuff I’ve written in class about students I know. A couple of titles so far are ‘Nickel Rose’ and ‘Nay OmiO’.
The monotony is broken by a couple of year seven girls acting as roll monitors. They stand uncertainly at the door, not sure if they should come in. I tell them my students have run away. They’re amazed. While I write down the entry in the roll one girl writes something on the blackboard. It says: “Brooke is gay, very gay.”
Mmm, these days when confronted with something like this I would seek out the daily organiser and let them know what's happening, so they can reassign me if possible. Had a recent class like this at the same school and sought out the DO and he let me take a break since he had no other classes for me to cover.
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